AskUK, I need your anecdotes and advice on cutting off a friendship without it being too awkward for everyone involved.

My husband has a friend who we’ll call Ben, they met about 5 years ago through a mutual hobby. Whilst not really spending much time together in person that often, they kept in touch via whatsapp and social media. Ben seemed like an ordinary, nice enough, geeky type of guy. He even came to our wedding a few years ago and I didn’t get any bad impressions.

At the weekend I received a message out of the blue from Ben asking about my husband’s wellbeing, because apparently Ben has been reaching out a few times and never heard back. I asked my husband about it and he got annoyed, saying he’s been trying to ghost Ben for the past few months but the guy isn’t getting the message. Apparently Ben has turned into a bit of an incel, following model-type girls on instagram and bemoaning his lack of a relationship whilst having completely unrealistic expectations. The last time my husband was over at Ben’s place he said he noticed Ben had put up a bunch of cringey posters of anime girls, borderline hentai style, and it completely grossed him out. Feeling like he had nothing in common with Ben anymore, my husband just stopped replying to Ben’s messages and invites.

For context, we’re all in our 30s, no one is an edgy teenager living with their parents in this scenario. So how do we go about cutting this guy off in the nicest way possible? I’d usually steer clear but Ben has now involved me by messaging me directly. I don’t like ghosting, but I’m struggling on how best to politely explain to Ben that my husband is fine, but doesn’t want to talk any more.

submitted by /u/DepletedCheese to r/AskUK
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