I am not OOP. OOP is u/throwaway_1849573. She posted in r/AmItheAsshole. I added some paragraph spacing for readability.
Since this post is about dogs, today’s fun fact to cover up spoilers is about dogs. While there are many facts I could share, the one that piqued my interest today was that apparently dachshunds were originally bred to fight badgers.
Mood Spoiler: OOP gets to keep the dog and has family who supports her
Original Post: December 16, 2022
I’m really upset about this right now. I’m 17F. My parents divorced when I was 12. It was really rough, they pretty much hate each other and still have trouble doing anything together where I’m concerned. I try not to talk about them to each other and just keep things separate.
All the fighting and chaos was hard on me and was effecting my mood and school work when it was all going down, so my dad felt bad and let me have a dog to help me feel better. Someone nearby had malamute puppies, so I picked out one and his name is Tycho and he’s my best friend. Even on the weeks I’m with my mom I stop by after school every day to take him to the dog park to play and get his cuddles in. I love this dog.
My dad started dating Melanie a few years ago. I don’t really connect with her, we’re just really different and she’s way too touchy, but she makes my dad happy so whatever. Her son Ben (9M) is autistic and needs a lot of accommodations, he gets really upset and has meltdowns when things change or are done differently. He’s also really scared of Tycho even though as far as I know Tycho has never done anything to scare him, he’s a really laid back and well behaved dog.
Dad and Melanie recently got engaged and they want to go ahead and move her and Ben in so that they can get rid of their apartment and save money. My dad told me about it and said that since Ben is afraid of Tycho and needs a stable environment at home, Tycho is going to have to go somewhere else. My mom’s townhouse doesn’t have room for him and my grandparents aren’t in good enough health to look after a big dog, so we would have to rehome him.
I admit I didn’t take it very well and we had a big fight. I told him that no way was I going to give up my dog and I’m going to college next year anyway so they can put off the move until the spring when I can find a place to take him with me. My dad says they need to do the move over the holidays and Ben is more important than a dog. I told him if he gives away my dog I’ll never forgive him and that he obviously thinks Ben is more important than me, too.
My dad is mad because I’m making this a choice between me and his fiancée basically, Melanie is having second thoughts about the engagement since I “don’t want to live with them”, my mom is mad at my dad and they’re fighting again, and I’m afraid to leave Tycho alone because he might not be there when I get back. My aunt says I’m being childish and my dad deserves to be happy.
Why do they need to move over the holidays?
“I think it’s something to do with her lease or something, I don’t know. Maybe also having time to move. My dad just said that it would be a lot more trouble and expense to wait.”
Could grandparents foster the dog for a few month until she gets her own place?
“I’m going to talk to my grandparents again this afternoon I think. I’m so afraid my dad is just going to take Tycho while I’m at school so I might just grab him and take him to my mom’s for a couple of days until I can figure something out. She doesn’t have a yard and the place is too small for a big dog longterm. Maybe if I can move in with the grands I can help them out with chores the property and keep my dog with me, they have plenty of room. My dad won’t like that, though, and I’m guessing there’s going to be another lawyer show down if I do that.”
How long have you had Tycho, and are you an astronomy or expanse nerd?
“Astronomy, after Tycho Brahe. I’m a space nerd.”
Can you move in with your grandparents?
*”*I’m going to see if they would be willing, they could probably use the help anyway, but my dad is going to throw a fit and I don’t want him to make things hard on them either. I’m going to talk to them this afternoon after school.”
Why would your dad throw a fit?
“They’ve been fighting over custody stuff since the divorce, and my dad is super strict about time. He won’t want me to move totally out, but I’ll have to if Tycho goes to my mom’s or grandparents to take care of him. I guess my mom “wins” if that happens.”
OOP is voted NTA
Update 1 (Same Post): Approximately December 17, 2022 (Using wayback machine)
I talked to my mom and grandparents after school. I brought Tycho to my mom’s place this afternoon and I’m going to to take him to my grandparents tomorrow. I’m going to split time between them and my mom for awhile and my grandparents said that if I go to college nearby I can live with them while I study to make sure I don’t lose my dog. So I’m going to look at maybe doing two years at a local college and then transferring to a university later.
I haven’t told my dad yet, but I will after I get Tycho settled tomorrow, I already went online and made sure his chip information is up to date with all my info and my mom’s as backup. Pretty sure all hell is going to break loose but honestly, I’d do almost anything to not lose my dog including just not going to college right now if that’s what I have to do. He takes care of me so I have to take care of him.
Update 2 (Same Post): Between December 18-24, 2022 (The wayback machine didn’t capture it and unddit only shows the last update.)
It’s been a rough few days, my dad flipped his shit when I told him I wasn’t coming back to his place and he and my mom are duking it out right now. My mom’s lawyer asked me a bunch of questions and then said not to worry about it. Melanie called to find out what was going on so I told her that if living with her and Ben means I lose my dog I’m just not going to live there anymore and she tried to talk me out of it because my dad didn’t want to lose me, but I told her that’s just how it is. I think they’re fighting now, too.
My grandparents said my dad is being totally unreasonable and he’s not allowed to come on their property. Gonna be a fun Christmas, I’m just going to stay at my grandparents and try to keep my head down until I go back to school. But Tycho seems to like it here, he has a lot more space to run around and still gets to sleep next to my bed, so he’s happy at least.
Final Update (Same Post): January 17, 2023
Ok, last update. So, Melanie broke it off with my dad. My dad didn’t talk to me for awhile, but he finally asked to have lunch so my grandpa went with me because he wanted to make sure I was safe and my dad didn’t yell at me. My dad apologized for trying to make me give up Tycho and wants me to come back home. I told him I would come visit but I’m still afraid he’ll take my dog.
Living with my grandparents has also been really nice, it’s quiet, they appreciate me helping out with the farm, and my grandma is teaching me how to cook. He wasn’t happy, but he said he understood and we worked out a plan for me to visit for dinner a few days on the weeks that used to be his weeks and I’m dropping by to see my mom most days on her weeks, but spending most of my time with my grandparents.
I got a scholarship to the local branch of the state university and it’s only an hour and some away and has the degree program I want, so I think I’m going to go there for at least the first two years. I’m going to talk to admissions about getting a waiver from living on campus since I’m helping my grandparents. Both my parents are going to chip in on an allowance for me and Tycho while I’m in school, my mom says my grandparents can relax more and are feeling better with me there (also they love Tycho being around now too) so it’s the best option for everyone and I’ll be able to budget for vet visits and everything. My dad is still mad at my mom and Melanie, but he doesn’t want me to miss out on college and he seems to be more himself after the first week of visits.
Thank you all for the advice. I’m so relieved this has worked out, I’ve had hella anxiety over Christmas about all of this, but I get to keep Tycho, things are mending with my dad, and I’m on track for college.
submitted by /u/LucyAriaRose to r/BestofRedditorUpdates