We have a 1 year old. We’ve had sex probably 4 times in the last year. A few weeks ago she told me she doesn’t want me looking at her breasts sexually anymore. She had a bad time with breast feeding and says she doesn’t like thinking about them in sexual terms anymore. This has hit me like a freight train. I was already sad that our sex life is so bad now, but now I’m feeling shame that I’m even into boobs at all. I haven’t even jerked off since she said that. It’s like I feel like a monster with a violating sexual gaze. I’m a sensitive dude. She doesn’t think any of this is a big deal and says vaginal sex is still ok (although she never initiates). But I can’t even get it up now. Yes she put on weight yes her body isn’t the same but I still was able to get turned on until recently. I feel so depressed that unless I break up our family I’ll never feel aroused again or feel what we used to feel together. I’m sitting here drinking by myself and I can’t even talk to anyone about this because frankly it’s embarrassing. What sort of advice can you give me about this.

submitted by /u/throwawayforpurpose3 to r/relationship_advice
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