Just need a place to rant.

My wife and I have had our ups and downs but in the grand scheme of things, it’s always first world problems being blown up to massive proportions. However, these little things keep getting to me and have built up to a point where I simply don’t speak to her, and I’m not too sure if I’m just still a bit upset or I’ve actually just given up on our relationship.

A bit of background. My wife gets upset with me for, in my opinion, minor things or things that are misunderstood. For example, I was late picking her up (traffic) when she needed to get home quickly for something at work. Despite still being just on time she translated this to me not listening, caring, loving her etc. She will then give me the cold shoulder for a month or more.

One time she stopped speaking to me for over 3 months and at the same time sagging me off to her sister. She didn’t tell me the reason why until after that 3 plus months and it was a comment I made to her (much older) sister in law about her being “a good looking woman” and not needing plastic surgery when she was discussing it in front of all of us (and said the comment in front of everyone).

I told my wife that I can’t deal with the constant ups and downs and it really gets to me. We reconciled and I made a real effort hugging, kissing, presents etc. only for that to get a pretty lame response but we were cordial.

One day, I was doing my son’s homework so loaded up my work computer. Teams, as it does, pops up showing the last message from a female colleague. No flirting, no heart or kiss emojis, just boring old finance talk. My wife immediately gets a bit of an attitude and ask me to scroll through the messages. I then jokingly reply that I’m not sleeping around so no need to worry. She doesn’t take it as a joke and gets upset with me.

This was like 4 months ago. As usual, she’s said recently we need to speak about our relationship and attempt to reconcile. I’ve had this conversation, she now is trying to talk to me (how’s your day etc.) but I can no longer be bothered. I answer as short as I can without being rude but don’t engage. I simply can’t be bothered to put effort in again only for us not to talk for months because I didn’t vacuum the stairs or something. I’d rather just keep things as it is; talking when needed.

Usually I’ll get over it. I’m physically attracted to her and do love it when we’re together but now not so much. I don’t miss it.