Standing in front all of us: “You’re all looking a bit dark there, with your navy jackets. Me? Look, I’ve got a yellow jacket.”

To a woman: “Oh, nice pink scarf! If I had a scarf, I’d wear it.”

In front of everyone again: “I admit it, I may be drunk, but I’m not an alcoholic. I am not an alcoholic.” But then he pulls out a big glass bottle of this brown stuff and another of what looked like whiskey.

Pointing to cigarette on the ground: “Look, it’s just there! No one cares about it.”

To the metal bench before leaving: “You were a very good chair!”

submitted by /u/author-miglett2 to r/CasualUK
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